blueberries

Visual Impairment

Visual Impairment
blueberries, Jan 18, 2020
Description:
Day 17 - Hindsight is 20/20

Made with:
Blessings by ForeverJoy Designs
Turn the Page Doodles by Little Butterfly Wings
Doodled Borders No. 1 by Pink Reptile Designs
Marion the Librarian by Tangie Baxter
Beetris and Merry by Rebecca McMeen
Snapshots: Part two {the stories} by The Lilypad Designers

Font is Ortisan Signature by Inopatype

Journaling (word count 252):

Hindsight is 20/20 for some, but I’ve had poor eyesight most of my life. More like 20/200 with a healthy side order of astigmatism.


But then again, maybe in this I’m willfully blind.


The thing about hindsight is you have to make a conscious choice to see what you maybe purposely tried to avoid looking at too closely. If I look back, I’m liable to find the answers I’m not ready for, to the questions that make me shake like a pair of glasses clutched in a trembling hand.


Can a list of good deeds really make up for an equally long list of bad?

Where is the line between merely toxic and outright abusive?

Did we cross it when I was too busy finding somewhere else to look?

And the kicker - did I really stay because I thought it was the best choice or because I was too scared to be on my own after so many years?


I don’t want to look back, examine the past to find out if I did, in fact, spend more than half my life in an abusive relationship. I know I’m going to have to at some point, either to heal from it or just find some peace of mind but believe me when I say I don’t want to, for more reasons than just the obvious.


So I’ll simply adjust my glasses and tell myself right now foresight is a little bit more important.


And maybe start looking for a therapist.
    • flowersgal
      I like your layout with your honest journaling. Your introspective resounds with me and that we are all "willingly blind" in certain areas of our lives. Please get whatever help you need to heal from the years of abuse. It takes courage to face and relive the past but it can be healing. You can do it.
    • mcurtt
      Beautifully written, love the journaling and doodles. Hugs. And blessings to you as you continue through life, perhaps maybe you can begin the healing process...
    • EHStudios
      I love how this looks like a real peek into a journal. Beautifully honest words! Thanks for this page!
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  • Category:
    Month of Challenges 8
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    blueberries
    Date:
    Jan 18, 2020
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