Talk to me about "success"

Discussion in 'Chatty Pad' started by dawnmarch, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. dawnmarch

    dawnmarch Actually, no. You are not funny!

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    As a result of going to a fancy pants law school and having been a partner at a fancy pants DC law firm, I have a lot of very successful peers. I went to law school with Barack Obama; two of my law firm colleagues (one who was a pretty close friend) were the US Solicitor General at different times and just today, another law firm colleague, Alex Acosta, was nominated to be the Secretary of Labor.

    This makes me stop and think sometimes about the paths I took to become a "measly" corporate health attorney. :D But, truth is, you could not pay me enough money to be the Secretary of Labor. I don't want the responsibility, the hours, the politics, the hassle. I'm happy doing my 9-5, working from home a lot, hanging with my family and the dogs. I don't even want to be the head attorney in my company!

    What about you? Do you have killer career drive (or did you used to)? What's your idea of "success"? If the president called you right now and asked you to be Secretary of [Insert something you might be good at here] would you take the job? If you're a SAHM, what does "success" look like for you?
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
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  2. AnneofAlamo

    AnneofAlamo Slippers IN sunshine? Even better!

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    I was in previous job titles, a telephone operator, and served in the United States Air Force. I have a college degree. I have been in the work force, and don't care to be there at all.

    I am a MOM. Soon to be GrandMOM.

    The President could call me, but you see I'm not available. Although, I would love to talk with him, it would be a grand honor. I would love to sit and chat with his darling wife about school with Baron(who I think is adorable).

    Being a full time wife and mom has been the most rewarding job I could ever ask for in life. The pay is not tangible, but priceless.
     
  3. IntenseMagic

    IntenseMagic Some grannies cuss a lot. I'm some grannies.

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    Ummm that would be a big fat no to the Secretary job!! I don't even want to be principal of my school, much less anything higher than that. I am perfectly happy being a lowly teacher lol. My reasons are basically the same as yours, you couldn't pay me enough to deal with the responsibility, the hours, and the headaches. I enjoy my time outside of work and my family too much. They are first and foremost with me. Not to take anything away from people who are career driven, they have my utmost respect. But for me, success is the 2 wonderful adult children I have raised and the one who is on his way, my home, and my family :) And all the wonderful students whose lives I've touched in the last 28 years. Their successes are my successes.
     
  4. AnneofAlamo

    AnneofAlamo Slippers IN sunshine? Even better!

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    sorry to hijack? grandbaby or are you? what? ENQuiring minds?
     
  5. Mylinn

    Mylinn What's that old bat up to now??

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    I've been disabled for far too long. I miss the sense of productivity, the little accomplishments, the fast pace and interesting medical thingys and so on. I flat out don't miss the rush hour traffic, time clocks, expectations of great things from me, sore feet, no bathroom breaks and nightmares . . . That said, I never wanted to rise above bedside ICU RN. I might have turned to anesthesia once my body wore down but management, in charge, Success (as defined by "them") never appealed to me.
     
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  6. IntenseMagic

    IntenseMagic Some grannies cuss a lot. I'm some grannies.

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    Hahaha I was talking about the 11 year old who is on his way to being a wonderful adult, but I should have counted my two awesome grand babies in that list as well. I didn't say that very well but man, I am laughing so hard at the "are you" hahahahahaha That factory has been closed for years. And no grand babies on the way currently, and preferably not for a little while.
     
  7. gonewiththewind

    gonewiththewind I choose joy.

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    I have a BA in English Education, but my career was as a legal assistant at a law firm focusing mostly on personal injury and mass torts. The firm was involved in tobacco litigation as well. I wasn't in DC, but the firm was prestigious in local circles, and the last position I held as lead legal assistant on a medical drug mass tort was very intense and stressful. I ended up taking a sabbatical and never went back. LOL

    I did work for a short time as a coder/medical biller for a retina specialist (I can't even explain how that landed in my lap, but it did and has been such a blessing for me to deal with my own numerous medical bills), but for the most part, I've been home since having my son in 2005. I didn't start designing templates until 2010, so I was a mom and homemaker for about 5 years.

    I am happiest right now. Being at home, taking care of my son, hubby and home, and designing templates. My daughter has successfully flown the nest and is in college. She might come back home this fall, but even if she does, she's self-sufficient for the most part.
     
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  8. jk703

    jk703 CEO of Anything and Everything, Everywhere

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    Well... I think I will have a confusing answer.... but it all boils down to happiness and my family.

    I graduated college with a BA in Psychology, a BS in Business Management and a minor in Marketing. I was debating going to school to get my Masters in Business Psychology. At one point, I wanted to be a nurse too, and was even debating that, and finding something to do with Psychology. (Throughout college, I worked full time at a hospital in the NICU, Nursing Administration, Med/Surg, and the ER). There was a lot of ambition in my head, in my heart and life at that time. IN the meantime, to get some experience, I decided to take a job in NYC with AIG (Insurance/ReInsurance and I worked in contracts)

    9/11 happened. Things really changed for me.

    I got pregnant, and didn't want to work in the city any longer. I wanted to be closer to home, have more flexibility. I realized that the money, job and the city was no longer a lure. I left when I was pregnant, and got a job from a family friend.

    12 years later... I'm at the same job. It is that, a job. I realized I didn't want the career I had going, as it takes away from me, my family, and my life. That career might have changed the path that I followed - kids, location, etc. I don't want the stress or responsibility that goes with that level of success. I have good days and bad days at my job, but I really like it for the most part. They don't pay great, but it's not horrible. I still don't make what I was making in NYC 12 years ago!!! I get to wear jeans/sneakers, make sarcastic jokes, pick on my boss, and all around, be me.

    I do want to go back to school when the kids are a bit older, and become that nurse I wanted to be. BUT... I might just work in the local hospital ER... and I'll do that when I'm ready. No rush.

    Man... sorry, I'm wordy tonight.
     
  9. mrs2a50

    mrs2a50 Pretty much the best.ever.

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    Okay, massive thread hijack. I had no idea you did this. I was a paralegal in personal injury and medical malpractice (defense side) for 18 years.
     
  10. mrs2a50

    mrs2a50 Pretty much the best.ever.

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    So, I've honestly never had a killer drive, but I have a lot of pride in work - doing a good job at whatever I'm doing. I've had some great jobs - a paralegal for 18 years, and currently an executive assistant at a national scientific laboratory for 6 years. I consider myself professionally successful, but more important, I love what I do. And ultimately, I think success is measured by being good at what you do (whether it's US Solicitor General or Household General) and loving your job. So for me, "success" is very personal and subjective.
     
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  11. Tree City

    Tree City Get a stepladder, I'm busy

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    ^^^this. I had a big post all typed out, but really it all boils down to a debate about happiness and a philosophical discussion about contentment and motivation. So yeah, it's personal and subjective. :)
    Plus, if you have a huge drive like that, are you ever satisfied? I've heard about people finally attaining their dream and then getting depressed: cuz if you have "everything," then what comes next? What do you shoot for if you did hit all your marks? (Does that metaphor work? It does in my head but it's late here lol.)
     
  12. michelepixels

    michelepixels A pun is not fully matured until it is full groan.

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    Awesome! Did you meet him?


    I could have written Jan's sentences myself. I was a teacher for 5 years in the 1990s, something I'd wanted to do since I was a kid, but I never dreamed about being a principal. Even though my 6th grade teacher, who wrote fortunes for all her students, said that I would probably become a principal loved by even more students than I was as a teacher. Since I've been homeschooling (for the last decade) I have no desire to ever return to teaching, so I'm definitely not going to become a principal. However, several years ago I started dreaming about starting a homeschool resource center and thinking about being a sort of director of that brought back the memory of my 6th grade teacher predicting I'd be a principal.

    I didn't find your answer confusing in the slightest! Nor too wordy. (But I know I do ramble in writing myself!) My BA is in psychology too! I minored in child development, which I didn't even add until after I was halfway done with college, thinking it would be helpful with my goal of teaching. I didn't ponder a lot of possibilities. I had chosen psychology for my major because it fascinates me and I figured it would be useful no matter what I did with my life and I think I wanted to consider some other possibilities besides teaching since I thought that might just be an old idea I was clinging to unimaginatively. But I didn't think of anything else, so I soon focused on the track to teaching. But I always knew the thing I wanted more than anything else was to be a mom.

    I like how this is phrased. I was thinking of starting my answer with, "Every person has to define success for herself."

    That metaphor makes sense to me. What a thought! I would hope people who attain their dreams create new ones! I know I've been thinking for a few years now about what I want to do when my children are grown. They're 15, 13, and 10 now and I figure I'm on the verge of when I could start looking for something part time.

    I have never had a strong ambition, although my mom would say I was a very determined kid. I think she might have been noticing I have strong convictions and will stand up for my beliefs, not afraid to argue. But the thing I've wanted to do most the last 16 years is be a good mom. It actually is kind of ambitious if you do it mindfully. It's really a hard job sometimes! But I love it. I feel like I'm being successful whenever my family is hanging out together, playing and laughing. And the times my daughter thanks me for doing things. My son tells me I'm the best mom ever. I think as long as we're generally happy, that's success.

    As for the president calling, if it were the current one . . . NOT A CHANCE. However, at another time, I would be curious. Chances are I'd end up declining though. I have twice been offered director positions (once for my girls' drama club, another time with a Sudbury-style school that we were trying to start) and both times I considered it but couldn't bring myself to take it on. Then again, in 2003 I started up my own local homeschool group and ran it for over a decade; though it's debatable how well I did it. I also spent most of 2013 and 2014 studying business and photography in an attempt to start a photography business, but I am too scared of the idea of being my own boss and put it on the back burner (way, way, far back) indefinitely. I've thought a lot about this over the last few years and I really think I'd rather work for someone else. I'm glad I'm in the position of being able to take my time to figure out my next occupation.

    For now, I'm being a pretty successful mom and I don't think anything else will make me feel more successful, not even if a fabulous president called me up and I became a successful Secretary of Whatever. :)
     
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  13. Jan

    Jan I'm sorry, I can't. I'm busy doing nothing!

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    I have been a SAHM pretty much most of my married life. I did take some odd jobs that I could do at home to kind of help out from time to time...none of which really helped enough to make it worth the time spent doing them. And I was a playground aide at our daughter's school for a couple years. I also painted store windows for Christmas, which took about 6 weeks of each year and I did that for about 17 years. But basically I was at home with my kids. I count that as a huge blessing in my life. We may not have had a lot of money and we weren't able to do a lot of traveling. But we had enough to meet our needs. Being there for my kids meant the world to me. I don't regret a moment of it.

    Success to me is seeing my children being the good, kind people that they are. They love their wives and children and are always willing to help others. I must have done something right, in spite of all of my own faults and failings, to have them turn out to be the wonderful people that they are today.

    It's funny because those two years I worked as a playground aide I remember feeling like I had been thrown out into a fast paced, cold, cruel world. Thrown to the wolves! I didn't like feeling that way. I didn't fit in. The people over me were not always very kind and I didn't like the way they treated others. It was stressful to me and I was grateful when I finally quit that job. I love being in my cozy, safe home. :) Just being a wife, mom and grandma. That is enough for me. :)
     
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  14. bestcee

    bestcee In love with places I've never been to

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    I have a serious answer too, when I'm at my computer. But right this moment?

    Success to me means baking a great chocolate chip cookie. Soft, yet crisp. And delicious. Add I think I've nailed it.
     
  15. scrappyjedi

    scrappyjedi Patience you must have, my young padawan

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    I have a degree in Computer Science with a minor in Mathematics. For 14 years I worked for major defense contracting firms writing code to do things that I can't talk about. :giggle I didn't ever have a fancy pants title, but I was the one that program managers from offices across the country would call and ask to "borrow" from whatever program I was currently working on. I was the fix-it person- the one who could figure out the really weird problems that stumped others. I never wanted to be in charge, though- I preferred being the person behind the scenes.

    And then I quit that job and now make half of what I used to running my own business. To me, that feels more successful than the six-figure job that I left. :) No more meetings, no more last-minute travel, no more dealing with government contracts.

    I wouldn't want to serve as Secretary of anything in a presidential administration (except maybe Secretary of Making Sure That Movies Get Computer Stuff Right...that's in the Cabinet, isn't it?), but I'd totally be one of the people quietly working behind the scenes to get things done.
     
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  16. LeeAndra

    LeeAndra A total Betty.

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    This is such a hot button issue for me. You've been warned. :blush

    I have a degree in English, and it has done me zero good. I struggled for a long time (years) trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, and during that time, I missed my opportunity to get a 'real' job with some chance at advancement & success. I've worked temp jobs & seasonal jobs here and there but most of the time I've spent my time SAHMing and wishing I was working.

    I have, literally, applied for 500+ jobs since graduating from college 15 years ago, and I cannot express in words how frustrating and disheartening it is to know you can do the work & you want to do the work but no one will hire you because you don't have X years of experience in said work or don't have professional initials after your name. I can't get an entry level job because now I'm too old/too 'experienced' for that & employers assume I will run the first change I get, and I can't get more experienced jobs because I haven't worked at the same employer in the same field for the last 5+ years.

    Over the last 18 months, I have figured out what I want to do (working remotely in people ops or marketing for a SaaS in case you're curious) but remote work opens up an even bigger pool of candidates & I'm definitely not the cream of the crop when you're talking about an international field of possible workers so it's just more frustration. I need more specific training, schooling, or certifications to get on the short list for a SaaS, and we just don't have the money for that right now & I don't have the time or concentration with having a toddler at home 24/7.

    So, honestly, I feel like my life is passing me by, and there's nothing I can do abt it. I'm an okay wife & mom, I guess, and an adequate housekeeper/cook/maid/nanny but I want so much more.

    Do I feel like I'm successful? No. Do I feel like I'm a failure? No, not that, either. Just kinda... eh all the time.

    Although I've become 1000% more political and activist in the last year, I would never serve in an official governmental capacity (the corruption would kill my soul) & I would never uproot my children to live in D.C. I would definitely never ever speak to Donald Trump or serve in any capacity for him.
     
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  17. StefanieS

    StefanieS Think it over, think it under

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    All I ever wanted to be was a wife and Mother. I stepped down from my Girl-Friday job for a LPGas company when the oldest was due, 23 years ago and haven't looked back. I think staying at home, running the house, being there for the hubs and kids is a priceless gift, offering a haven and stability which I lacked growing up. As the children are growing up and spending more time out of the house, I have gotten more involved at church and I am loving it. The best is still to come.
     
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  18. cfile

    cfile My bags are packed for Platform 9 3/4

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    Success is what you believe it to be...for me it is accomplishing what I set out to do ... I am happy with the choices I have made for 99% of it... success to me is not monetary.. it is happiness.

    To be honest even failure can be a success as it shows what doesn't work.

    Success is very subjective, individualized and personal.

    Whatever you set out to do in life may you achieve it is my in a nutshell answer about what success is :)
     
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  19. LoveItScrapIt

    LoveItScrapIt I'm a poet, and everyone knows it!

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    Basically this. lol...

    I will say. I went to college but didn't finish. I've always known that I wanted to be at home in some capacity. I want to write books and be a creative hippy. ROFL> I get to do that now. I'm extremely happy and "feel" like I am a success in all that I put my mind and heart and soul into. I have 2 published poetry books and am writing more everyday. I also dabble in digital design and freelance graphic design. And most important, I am here anytime my family needs me!!! Which is everyday! ROFL
     
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  20. mommyish

    mommyish Style Addict

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    I went to school as a Music major (piano emphasis) and got married after my sophomore year. I kept taking courses to "finish" school because I felt like it was what I was supposed to do. I never did get a degree. (I do have enough course hours to equal a bachelors >_< and the student loans to go with it!) It wasn't until six years ago that I decided to make my hobby of Digital Scrapbooking my *real* job that I felt success.

    The other day my husband asked me if I could have any job - what would it be? And I can honestly say that this job is my dream. I love what I do!

    I also have two beautiful girls that I adore and a husband that is my best friend. I think this is "success" - Living a good life. :)
     
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